Today’s tip comes from John Webster at Excelerate Inc.

Can your word be trusted? How many of us have ended a short conversation with, “Hey, let’s do lunch sometime?” or “Great seeing you, I’ll give you a call.”  Probably most of us…
 
How many of us really take the time to audit our communications with others and consider the effect that these types of ‘lunch’ comments have on us? 

There are two ways we can answer a question: promise (a “yes” response) or decline (a “no” response).  There are three types of promises (”yes” responses) that we can make:

• Healthy Promise – “I know I can, and intend to fulfill”
• Shallow Promise – “Yes, but…(has hidden consequences unknown to the requestor/person asking)
• Criminal Promise – Yes, knowing you can’t or will not 

Scenario: A co-worker invites you to a “happy hour” after work:

• Healthy promise: “Yes, I will be there.” (And you do show up)
• Shallow promise: “Yes, I’m planning on it (Knowing that you have a been invited to another social function; while your intent may have been good you end up not being able to make it to the happy hour)
• Criminal promise: “Yes, I’d love to come.” (But you have no intention of coming)

Why is this important?  When you provide either a shallow or criminal response you have just confirmed your attendance in the eyes of the person asking.  When you do not show up, how do you think that person perceives your comments? 

You have just managed to damage your credibility and trustworthiness with that person as they had expected to see there.  When we repeat this cycle multiple times with the same person - all of these tiny little let downs - they will begin to have a hard time really believing our “yes” response.  It works the same for communications with employees or managers.
 
Audit your communications and your responses over the next 24 to 48 hours. How many shallow or criminal promises did you make?  Take the time to consider the consequences of your response and you may find it easier just to say “no.”

Send your tip, strategy or resource to help small business to me at jnorman@ocregister.com. If I use it, I’ll give you credit and link to your Web site.

Posted in: Tip of the Day • Etiquette |

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.